Because it’s Kesha’s 30th birthday, I took the time to rank the pop star’s entire videography from the ONE bad video to her most iconic. This is definitive so pls no drama:
“Crazy Kids” (2013)
Re$oning: When I said “the one bad one,” I meant “Crazy Kids”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From Kesha’s shameless cultural appropriation and Will.I.Am’s GODDAMN TERRIBLE and unnecessary last-minute feature, this video was the one true misstep in Kesha’s videography. (“Wherever You Are” should’ve been the third single off Warrior anyway — @ me I DARE YOU.)
“Blah Blah Blah” (2010)
Re$oning: Kesha flying around like a drunk Tinkerbell and texting on her touchscreen phone is still iconic but 3OH!3’s feature is so damn cringeworthy that I can’t rank it higher.
“Take It Off” (2010)
Re$oning: The “Take It Off” music video is what happens when you’re on the way to the Color Run but decide to pull over to an abandoned motel and get drunk with your friends instead. It’s an OK video for an OK song (sorry, nudists!).
“We R Who We R” (2010)
Re$oning: Remember that era of pop where it was all about self-empowerment (“Born This Way”, “Fuckin’ Perfect,” “Firework,” etc.)? Well, Kesha did it best with “We R Who We R” and it’s A SHAME the iconic song was robbed by a video that just repeated glitter parties of Kesha’s past. But if it ain’t broken…
“Die Young” (2012)
Re$oning: A bop overshadowed by controversy, Kesha dropped the glitter to serve modern-day Sanderson Sister for the lead video off her sophomore album Warrior. The “Die Young” video had me thinking we were about to enter a witch era for Kesha and I’m disappointed that’s not the way things went. OH WELL, I guess we have Lana Del Rey for that.
Re$oning: The “Animal” music video is pretty much Kesha going through her very own Sailor Moon transformation sequence in front of a green screen for four minutes — GORGE.
“Dirty Love” (2013)
Re$oning: This no fucks, no shame Kesha-directed video is pretty much the pop star in autopilot… but I wouldn’t say that’s a bad thing? Maybe I’m just valuing it because it followed C***y K**s but I STAN for this trashy treat.
“Your Love Is My Drug” (2010)
Re$oning: Kesha dancing around in the desert with an intermitting psychedelic cartoon? Sure, I’m here for it! Honestly the video is so feel-good, it’s tough to hate on. (The song is still a bop-and-a-half too!!!!!)
Re$oning: Ah, the greatest frenemy anthem of our generation!!! With a whole bunch of men in cheap drag (yes, that’s Detox!!!) and actually solid choreography, Kesha’s unjustly non-album single “Backstabber” is vindicated by this campy treat.
Re$oning: “C’Mon” is so undervalued that it BREAKS MY GAY HEART! In the video, Kesha quits her diner job (“have a nice life, dick” — ICONIC) and goes on to live with a bunch of party-motivated furries in a shag wagon. TBH, I’d believe Kesha was raised by furries Tarzan-style if you told me. Anygay, JUSTICE FOR “C’MON”!
“Tik Tok” (2009)
Re$oning: Will you ever forget where you were when you first watched Taylor Swift’s pop antithesis collect her hungover bearings in a bathtub? This music video birthed Kesha’s career the same way “…Baby One More Time” birthed Britney’s. Thank lordt for this video — IT GAVE US KESHA.
Re$oning: The “Blow” music video will make you miss Kesha more than you already do! It’s hilarious, odd, INSANE… there’s unicorn humans, rainbow guns, and fucking James Van Der Douche. And has there ever been better comedic delivery from a pop star in a music video? I doubt it. SHOW THE COURTS THIS FUCKING VIDEO TO FREE HER.
Re$oning: I know: “CONTROVERSIAL!!!” “FAKE NEWS!!!” “CHRISTIAN CANCELLED!!!” Say whatever in the comment section but “Stephen” is Kesha’s BEST music video. The video for this non-single stalker anthem is so cheap, bizarre, and problematic — EVERYTHING YOU LOVE ABOUT KESHA. Yes, the video was probably made on Windows Movie Maker XP, but it’s her most artsy-fartsy and perfectly Kesha video to-date.
Happy 30th birthday, queen.